We here at NASA are just as confused as you are. When the Reconnaissance Orbiter’s HiRISE camera showed us definitive proof there was water on Mars, we were ecstatic. Water on Mars has significant scientific consequences, from the potential of micro-biotic life to the amazing possibility of a human colony living on the red planet in the distant future. At NASA, we have a saying, and that saying is, “we love it when science fiction becomes reality.” And there hasn't been a day since the infamous moon landing where we've truly lived up to that motto. But just as we were popping the champagne, the Reconnaissance Orbiter’s HiRISE camera showed us something else, something far more sci fi than simple water. We zoomed the camera closer and found a can bearing the distinct logo of LaCroix, the sparkling water beverage enjoyed by many famous rappers, comedians, and Internet personalities.
We were thinking the same thing you're thinking – someone put a can on the Mars Rover Curiosity as a goof. And we haven't ruled out that possibility. But it doesn't explain the eight other twenty four packs of LaCroix we found on Mars' surface, in a wide variety of flavors – passion fruit, mango, and pamplemousse. Even Chad, NASA's resident prankster in charge, doesn't have it in him to load Curiosity with all that LaCroix. It's a Rover, not a mobile cooler.
We here at NASA have developed two theories. First, that the planet of Mars self-produces its own LaCroix. The second is that LaCroix, and its makers, the National Beverage Corporation are Martians. Frankly, we here at NASA are split down the middle. The Parallel LaCroix theorists have been throwing around some advanced chaos theory to show that in an infinite universe, eventually, there would be a planet that naturally creates LaCroix. They're saying we should be thankful that a planet that can generate such a delicious and thirst-quenching beverage is only 46.8 million miles away. Frankly, and I rarely say this, but the ramifications of this are dope as hell. Imagine a future where LaCroix is more plentiful than water. I'm already smacking my lips in anticipation.
The Alien LaCroix group, however, are postulating that sometime in the early 1990's, Martians landed on our planet, blended in with the Earth's populace, and created LaCroix out of self-preservation. This has led some of us to believe that anyone who drinks a substantial amount of LaCroix is in fact an extraterrestrial from Mars. Whether these xenoforms are dangerous, subversive, or simply here to hang out and chill with some refreshing LaCroix remains to be seen. If your head is spinning, welcome to our world. We've barely been able to wrap our heads around it, and we're some of the smartest people and biggest LaCroix fans on the planet.
Sadly, were are still unable to explain the liters of Pepsi NEXT and the Mountain Dew Code Red volcano.