The Squirter: Cleanup on aisle backyard! The Squirter is covered in that yellow and red goodness we call mustard and ketchup, but watch out! One squeeze of this dog's bun and you'll be shooting condiments all over the place!

Ol' Burnie: Black and blue? More like black and burnt! Or more like black and more black! Ol' Burnie is so black you might find him opening up for Steve Harvey at the Apollo Theater!

Bunless Wonder: An old lady on a commercial once pondered, “where's the beef?” But when it comes to the Bunless Wonder, she'd be better off pondering, “where's the bun?” There's always one more hot dog than there are buns, and this highly relatable situation is surely one you'll see on Memorial Day.

Hebrew National Kosher Dog: Is it Hanukkah? No, it's Memorial Day! Oy vey! This lil' hasid is more Jewish than I am! Let's all dance the horah and eat this kosher hot dog. L'chaim! To hot dogs!

I've Got Nothing: Is the premise stretched thin? Tired of this three items ago? You bet! While there may not be five types of hot dogs you'll eat on Memorial Day, the Internet demands content and the beast must be fed! Thank you for your click and your social media like! These worthless metrics will impress an asshole with an MBA, and he (always he) will give us more money to continue to produce numbers that inflate the next economic bubble. Meanwhile, between us and the rest of web, it's race to see who can fill up the landfill faster! See you in ten seconds with our next update!