Can Mommy’s bad boys keep a secret? Daddy is a bad boy, too.

Daddy doesn’t get any of Mommy’s fudge. Daddy doesn’t get to lick the spoon. Daddy doesn’t get Mommy’s special peanut butter pops. Daddy doesn’t even get to see Mommy’s fudge factory. Daddy loves fudge, but Daddy doesn’t get any fudge. Mommy says that Daddy is too bad for fudge.

Mommy makes Daddy dance. Mommy makes Daddy dance after all the bad boys are done dancing with Mommy and have gone to bed with empty little tummies and sore little bottoms. Daddy puts on his tap shoes and stands alone on the wall in the ballroom until Mommy asks Daddy to dance. Mommy always dances with Daddy the longest. Mommy always leads and Daddy has to dance the way that Mommy likes.

Mommy puts on her record and Daddy dances with Mommy until Mommy’s record runs out. Mommy flips the record and Daddy keeps dancing. Mommy’s record has the same song on both sides. Daddy always loses count how many times Mommy flips her record.

Mommy says that Daddy can stop dancing when Daddy is good, but Daddy doesn’t know why Daddy is bad. Mommy says that means that Daddy will always be bad.

Mommy only lets Daddy stop dancing when Daddy’s feet start to bleed. Mommy says that she could dance all night, but Mommy doesn’t want Daddy’s dirty blood on her nice ballroom floor.

Daddy tries to be good. Daddy does his chores every morning. Daddy brushes Mommy’s pretty hair. Daddy presses all of Mommy’s pretty dresses. Daddy does Mommy’s pretty make up just how Mommy likes it.

Daddy says his prayers every night. Daddy thanks God for Mommy and Daddy asks God to make him good, but Daddy is still bad.

Daddy stays out of the fudge factory. Daddy doesn’t try to sneak any fudge. Daddy loves fudge, but Daddy is bad. Daddy doesn’t get fudge.

Only good boys get fudge. Only good boys work in the fudge factory.

Bad boys don’t get fudge. Bad boys don’t work in the fudge factory.

Daddy has a special treat for Mommy’s bad boys. Mommy’s bad boys get to go downstairs and play rock and roll with Daddy. Don’t tell Mommy. Mommy doesn’t know that Daddy plays rock and roll and Mommy doesn’t know that Daddy lets bad boys play rock and roll too.

Bad boys can play rock and roll however they like. Sometimes Daddy plays rock and roll with a tennis racquet. Sometimes Daddy plays rock and roll with one of Mommy’s big spoons. Sometimes Daddy plays rock and roll with nothing at all.

Bad boys don’t have to dance the way Mommy likes when they play rock and roll with Daddy. Bad boys can dance any way they want and bad boys can sing any song. Bad boys don’t have to sing Mommy’s dancing song when they play rock and roll.

Bad boys have to be quiet when they play rock and roll with Daddy. Bad boys can’t make a one little peep because Daddy plays rock and roll downstairs right under Mommy’s fudge factory and Mommy can’t find out that Daddy plays rock and roll. 

Sometimes Daddy plays rock and roll with a pair of Mommy’s shoes. When Daddy wears Mommy’s shoes, Daddy makes the fudge and Daddy decides who is a good boy and who is a bad boy and Daddy gets to pick which bad boy to dance with and Daddy sends bad boys to bed with empty little tummies and sore little bottoms. Daddy gives every bad boy a turn in Mommy’s shoes. Every bad boy gets to be Mommy when they play rock and roll with Daddy.

Daddy knows that rock and roll is bad, but rock and roll is when bad boys can be bad and Mommy can’t see. Daddy needs rock and roll. Daddy wants to be good. Daddy wants fudge.