Chad Bozerman’s 7th Annual “Chill or Trill” List
by William Reick
Every July, I take the time to reflect on the things my bros and I have experienced in the past ½ year. January through July can be a super effin’ sweet part of the year, as autumn is obviously the worst season, right my dudes? And in those six months, lots of things can be chill, and lots of things can also be trill. Anyway, you know why you’re here. Here it is: Chad Bozerman’s 7th Annual “Chill or Trill” List.
Deadpool - Trill. Are you kidding me, my bro? Obviously hella trill. That movie was packed to the gills with kills. So much sweet violence. Good laughs too. My dad took me to see this one.
Adele’s “25” - Chill. Man, this chick’s got a good voice, especially for some Scottish lady. Lol. Solid vibes on this one, my guy. Good to listen to when you’re feeling, like, emotional or whatever.
Pokemon Go - Chill. Even when my boy D-Rock gets all intense and competitive, this game is still very chill. You get to, like, go to parks and stuff, so it’s definitely 420 friendly. Haha, you know what I’m talkin’ about. But yeah, you walk around and catch Pokemon. My dad would’ve loved this game. We used to love going to the park together.
U.S. Presidential Election - Trill. Damn. Totally effin’ trill. Way too many harsh vibes being thrown around. Plus like, I’m not a woman-hater or anything, but my dad used to always shit on Hillary, so it’s like “What am I supposed to do?” Lol that’s a very trill question.
Burying a Family Member - ????. You guys, when I started doing this seven years ago, I never thought I’d have to include this in one of my lists. I thought it’d just be, like, a dope way to tell people the chill or trill things that happened each year. Looking back, if I could’ve predicted that my Dad was going to die, I probably would’ve made a third category. I also would’ve spent much more time with him.
Harambe - Trill. Man, have you seen that video? That’s some trill content right there. At first you’re all “Aw, damn, what’s gonna happen to that baby,” and then BLAMMY. Dead gorilla. This is exactly the type of content my Dad and I loved watching together. Damn. RIP big guy. Miss you every day.
Eulogies - Chill. I thought that this was going to be hard. What do you say when your strongest role model is gone? Obviously, I was hella nervous. But then, my boy Sully got me all dabbed out in his Subaru before the funeral, so it was actually pretty tight. My eyes were so bloodshot, but also I was, like, crying real hard, so my Mom didn’t really notice.
Shawn - Chill. When my Mom started dating less than a month after my Dad’s funeral, at first I was pretty effin’ mad. But then I thought about, like, “What if Jen died?” You know? “You’d be super horny, right Chad?” And so I gave this guy Shawn a shot. It’s weird cause he’s, like banging my Mom or whatever, but we’re actually the same age and pretty similar. He’s super good at racing dirt bikes, but I can still kick his ass in 2K.
There you have it my dudes. The first half of 2016 is in the books. Some things have been chill. And some things have been very, very trill. I can’t wait to see what the rest of the year brings, and I’m hoping that with the passing of time, the pain from my father’s boat-related death will begin to wear off.
Bill Reick is a sketch comedy writer from Philadelphia.