CALLING ALL REAL MCS! Your boy DJ Squirter, the hottest producer in the game, is back with another batch of piping hot bangerz.

I’ve heard all the talk saying that DJ Squirter fell off. I didn’t fall off. I’ve just been in the studio, cooking these new banging beats up.

I went all Dr. Frankenstein on this shit, trying to make some real monster bangerz. I locked myself in the studio. I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. I never saw the sun. My bone density dropped to levels seen only in geriatrics. The studio’s soundproofing material gave me a severe respiratory infection, yet I refused all medical treatment for fear a course of modern antibiotics would wipe out my natural ability to create straight bangerz.

In a moment of enlightenment that I would later learn was actually a prolonged period of cognitive impairment caused by an alarming Vitamin D deficiency, I created a new religious order devoted to bangerz. The studio was my temple and all who entered were forced to renounce their Abrahamic God and pledge themselves to dirty, dirty bangerz.

Seven months later, I completed a two-disc concept album called “Going on Seventeen…”, a reimagining of “The Sound of Music” through the lens of drag ball culture in New York City in the mid to late 1980s. It was meant to be my magnum opus, a love letter to house and hip-hop’s queer pioneers, but after listening to the project on repeat for thirteen hours straight, I became consumed by its flaws. It had heart, it had soul, but it didn’t truly bang. In a fugue state, I burned the masters and baptized myself anew in the flame.

Now, I am the beat maker. I am the booty shaker. My music is pristine in its simplicity. My sound is perfectly packaged, contextless, and ready-for-consumption.

I just. Make. Bangerz.

Alright, y’all. Enough talk. Here’s a little taste of what the chef’s been stirring up. I know it’s not a lot (I’m still trying to get paid for this shit. I can’t go giving it away. :P ), but hopefully it’ll be enough for the haters to chew on and keep them from talking hate for a minute.

Just try not to spit flow over this fucking banger:

A banger like this makes the booty go bump:

(Sorry for the watermarks, y'all. But like I said, I'm trying to get paid. :P)

A SEVERE BANGER WARNING HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR YOUR AREA:

Bangerz and Mash, baby:

And one last undeniable banger:

Get at me if you want to snatch up any of these drippy, sticky bangerz. You know shit like this doesn't stay on the shelves long! I'm ready to get paid for this shit! :p I am still very, very sick from cooking up these bangerz and need very expensive medications.